New Toyota HIV Misses Sales Targets

Deerborne, Michigan - Officials from Toyota announced today that their latest offering, the gas / electric Hybrid Impact Vehicle (HIV) was not meeting sales expectations.  With trends showing Americans increasingly buying more sport-utility style automobiles, the lack of interest in the HIV has some Toyota officials flummoxed.

"We have assembled a vehicle that not only is more fuel efficient than most model SUVs, but safer as well. I just don't think the message about our HIV is reaching the masses." stated Toyota marketing Vice President Hoshizaki Smith.

Demographics show that while the HIV has not done very well in the suburbs, it has performed especially poorly in urban areas.  Ever since firing Leo Burnett, Toyota's American advertising agency, they have had trouble reaching the Western market.

"It seems that rich or poor, city or rural ... no one wants our HIV.  It seems we cannot even give the HIV away.  People have been buying our underpowered and inefficient 4Runners for years.  Now we introduce the HIV, which is more fuel efficient than any SUV in its class and which anyone can afford -- and buyers run for the hills.  You would have thought they were the plague."  Hiroshi Okuda, Toyota's Chairman was quoted as saying.

"Our Auto Intelligence Daily Sales reports show that people who are shopping for new vehicles want to be high off of the road, they want fuel efficiency, and they want safety.  HIV is A1 best super lucky safe." Okuda told sources.  "The reports don't lie ... I just want to figure out what we are doing wrong."

Hank Greenbottom, a Detroit area building construction manager and new car buyer gave us his opinion of Toyota's HIV.  "I don't think the corporate suits gave a second thought to the marketing of this vehicle ... or its name.  I for one, and no one else I know wants HIV."

Okuda responded, "If the name is a problem, we have a backup name to market it under ... how does the Hybrid Electric Road Proven Exhilarator sound?"

Contributing Writer - TCOB (tcob@juno.com)